Feening

So Jeremy said a word tonight (it is still December in my world) and Heather and I took umbrage at its use. Jeremy was talking about something or other and used the word feening in lieu of fiending. We interpreted this as a misspelling and decided to knock Jeremy the Ever-Right down a peg or two.

Me: It is fiending!

Jeremy: My mistake. I believe feening is an acceptable variation.

Me: We have conferred, and it is not.

Jeremy: What of Macy Gray? WHAT OF HER?

Me: She, like you, is WRONG.

Me: How does that taste? Does it taste like shame and broken dreams?

Jeremy: May I direct your attention to the diagram from the other day?

Jeremy: My god. Is that what you taste? How sad for you. Correctness, which is what I taste, tastes like bacon and pussy.

Me: I can't hear you anymore, I'm listening to Macy Gray say FIENDING. As if she knows the English language or something.

Jeremy: It's on dictionary.com. Look it up. I am right you are wrong. Enjoy your shame and broken dreams cocktail.

Me: It is interesting that when I put feening into dictionary.com it tells me there are no results and perhaps I meant ferning. Is that what you meant Jeremy? The formation of a fern-like pattern in a specimen of crystallized cervical mucus secreted at midcycle? Is it?

Jeremy: Try "feen for" Clint. Try that!

Me: Your character is dumb and a Brasscoat is going to rapekill him in the night.