Crazy Man's Anxiety

I have lost my shit. In this instance, my shit means my mind. I am getting obsessive and compulsive and blind to my surroundings. It is a Dogdamn hoot and a half.

I am really proud of what I'm trying to do here. I've been real, not pushy, but inquisitive about my players and their characters of late. I've been bugging Eric a lot about this and that as they relate to Tesla's Boil. I've been asking the players about how their personalities interact and how they dress and move around town. I'm basically trying to get as clear of a picture as I can of the group, their lifestyles, and the places they hang out. I'm not proud of that, that is all stuff I should have been trying to figure out twelve months ago, or they should have offered up from the start.

What I'm proud of is where I'm going once the Rebellion Arc is finished. I've got an idea (THUNDERCLAP/FIST ARC is the code name), and I really like it and I'm having fun working on it. Now, granted, it may fall flat on its face and bore the players into a comatose state, but I am having a riot working on it. A lot of my free time is spent running my mind around in circles at like a hundred miles an hour pumping out stuff. Once I finally got myself into the groove and finished up the Rebellion Arc, I just started going nuts with the next arc.

I'm pumping out material constantly, new feats and traits and upgrades and weapons. Ideas constantly come bubbling up out of nowhere and get put down for next campaign. Anyway, it is pretty cool to be this dedicated and productive. What makes it difficult is not being able to really talk about it to anyone. I like to run my ideas by people to see what they think. Usually Eric or Tony. Tony has been unresponsive to my recent attempts to discuss the campaign, which is ok, he's got his own shit going on and doesn't game anymore. I can't talk to Eric or Jeremy about my ideas because that ruins the fun and surprise of next campaign for them.

I have spoken to Fred a bit about a concept related to the campaign, and Eric a little bit as well now that I think of it. What I've spoken to Fred about is just about the first thing that will come up next campaign, and what I spoke to Eric about was about six or seven times removed from what I was really talking about. Kind of. This is fun.

Anyway, I'm really excited about what I'm doing. I'm not breaking any molds or reinventing the wheel here, but it seems like it is all pretty solid. This is the hard part, I am working in a vacuum and have no oversight and no one to talk to about what I'm doing. I suppose I could discuss it with Shawn, and Heather is open to listening to my talk of the campaign. I dunno. I'll figure it out.

I guess I just have some nervous anxiety associated with all of this because I really care about this campaign and I want to make sure that it measures up to the guy's expectations and doesn't fall flat on it's face. I'll do my best and hope that is enough.