Friday, September 10, 2010


Potential spoilers for my story, possibly, maybe. Not sure. Just fucking read the damn thing. The story I mean.

Perhaps some of you have noticed, I've been kind of on a break from writing. I've gone over Shawn's notes pretty extensively and have been working on this newer version of the story for a while now, adding in some scenes and correcting the grammar and punctuation mistakes the thing is littered with. I'm pleased with how things are going, but yeah, I've been on like a two month break from writing.

I think I'm just kind of trying to let things buzz around in the back of my brain for a bit. Wil Wheaton quoted a guy on his blog that said something about how a large part of writing is just staring off into space and letting your mind run around in circles till it comes back to you with ideas all bloody and raw clenched in its teeth. I guess that is kind of what I'm doing. If I feel like it, I'll look on my Facebook profile and get the exact words of the quote and the guy that said it once I'm done posting.

Part of me is also stumped by a scene I'm trying to write. There comes a time when Merobel and Aubernach await Keroen Skathos in a clearing. I'm trying to kind of figure out what they would be talking about. There's far too much of a history between the two for them to just sit there making small talk or sniping at one another with snarkiness, so what do they say?

Plus there is this comment that Meroel makes in the earlier portions of the story about not being able to hear the crows in her dreams when she thinks of Keroen Skathos anymore. I forget the exact wording, but I wrote it because it sounded bat shit crazy at the time, and Merobel is such, so it is fitting. I would like to explain it in some way though. A lot of my story has been like that, I just write something that pops out of my brain and leave it there to sit for a while, and I come back later and attach meaning to it. I'd like to do that with Merobel's comment, but I don't know quite how. I'm working on it though, and part of that is wondering if I should leave it there all cryptic.

The whole story is basically about an upset in the balance of the Nel, changes have come and Nel must evolve or die. Aubernach refuses to change, at least for Keroen Skathos, he is an adaptable creature though and stagnation will never kill him, because stagnation is not in his nature. I'd like to show in this scene that Merobel is undergoing her own changes. She has finally been forced out of the dark places of her mind and must evolve.

Like Keroen Skathos, I've always had a soft spot in my head for Merobel. A lot of the things that happened to her in the course of her existence as a creature in my head have been shitty. I think this change that starts to come over her is a way for me to do right by her perhaps. Heh. This is such a goofy line of thought. I'm talking about repaying a character I wrote in a certain way that I wronged with another set of characters that I wrote. Heh, I amuse myself.

Anyway. I want to show some stuff with this scene, the crow thing, the beginning of an apotheosis for Merobel. I also want to show some of the history between her and Aubernach. I'd really like to kind of show how they interact. This is first scene in the story that we find them as "adults" and near enough to each other that they could have discourse. I'd like to at least bring a bit of that long and tortuous history of theirs to the fore. I would also like to show that Auberach regrets hurting her in the fashion he did, which I don't think I've done in the story. He doesn't regret doing what he did, regret is not an emotion he pays much attention to, but he does know that he hurt Merobel when she had nothing but love for him. Saying that the pain he caused her weighs on his conscience would be...perhaps too strong of a phrase for it, but to callously or idly hurt her and think petty thoughts of her feelings for him was never his intent.

We'll see what I manage to come up with in the end.

Edit After The Fact: At least half of all writing involves just sitting and staring into space. Letting your brain out to hunt down ideas, bringing them back all warm and bloody between its teeth. - Warren Ellis

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